Senator
by Kazzy
Summary: Leia thinks about the Senator of Naboo. Canon. Vignettes. ANH onwards
1. Understood

  
  


Timeframe – ANH onwards  
Category – Vignette  
Keywords – Angst, I guess. Is there a category for musings?

**Summary – **Leia thinks about Amidala. This is canon so Leia has no idea who Amidala is to her. Although she never comes into the OT, there's no reason for people not to know that it was Amidala who called for the vote of no confidence in Valorum. 

**Disclaimer – **Don't own it. Any of it.

**Notes – **A few nights ago I was sitting at my comp, happily reading fanfic. An evil plot bunny (you know one of those fluorescent things with long sharp teeth) wandered up and sunk his teeth into my ankle. Hard. Twice.I'm really beginning to think I should move my muse off the top of my comp, I think he's attracting the EPBs. 

Anyway, I wrote two little Leia viggies. I'll post this one now and the other soon. Depending on the response, and the evil plot bunnies, I might write more.

These are unbeta-ed, and I'm well aware they're probably rendered unreadable through grammatical errors. However, I'd appreciate your comments anyway. On the grammar and anything else.****

******

******

**~Understood~**

Padmé Amidala. Queen of Naboo. Senator.

The name was familiar to Leia – how could it not be? It was so deeply entwined with the rise of Palpatine. The young queen had been the one to call a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum. The opening had been seized by Palpatine, and the rest was history – or so they said.

As a young girl, deep into her study of politics, Leia had criticised Amidala quite heavily. She had denounced the young queen for being stupid enough to be led like that, to have the devil whisper in her ear and to believe him. For perhaps having being seduced by the power the Emperor-to-be offered.

Yet her father had pulled her up sharply enough to bring tears of confusion to her eyes. She had not understood his sudden anger, still could not understand it. But now she knew why he had told her differently.

There was a sad regality to the child in layers of face paint and expensive cloth as she gave the Senate an ultimatum. Fourteen years old and the Queen already had the weight of a world on her shoulders. Desperate and trapped in a corner, she had taken the only path she could possibly hope to be safe. Queen Amidala had not been stupid or corrupted, just deceived.

At nineteen Leia had watched her own planet shatter into a billion pieces. Amidala had been facing the rape of her world and the enslavement of her people. In the end it amounted to the same.

Same situation, different circumstance, different choices. Could either of them have ever have chosen otherwise?

Leia's choice had been damning – but it was the only one she could make. Aching – physically, mentally and emotionally – she sat alone in a cell aboard the Death Star awaiting her execution. And as she agonised over the loss of all she held dear, Leia found the knowledge of causing one hurt to spare another.

Amidala had known this. Leia understood it now with startling clarity.


	2. Wishes

_There isn't much evidence of Leia being injured, but she spent enough time with Luke and Han – she probably couldn't avoid it from time to time_. ;-)

**Wishes**

Leia was vaguely aware that it was night and the visitors who had kept her company had gone for the day. She was still hazy with drugs, but not really sleepy. Everything seemed pleasantly blurred and calm.

Was there someone new sitting beside her bed? She looked sort of like Leia's mother, except that Leia couldn't really remember her mother. The next minute Leia decided no one was there. It would have been nice, she reflected, if her mother could have been here. She would have liked that comfort, at least. Family was hard to come by for an Alderaanian these days.

The shadowy face (that didn't exist) offered her a soft, wise look. Strangely, she reminded Leia of another, less important figure.

Padmé Amidala. Queen of Naboo. Senator.

Did she have a family? Leia liked to think so. _Her husband was tall and handsome. He loved her more than anything and his smile told her secrets. Two children – a boy and girl. They sometimes fought, but they were best friends and nothing and no one could destroy that._

Childish fantasies brought on by the musing of an injured, drugged Leia, who should still know better. Even never having been in love herself, Leia knew that in all likelihood the former senator from Naboo had never married. Never had children. She had been in office during the Clone War – she'd more important things to worry about than romantic droolings.

Senator Amidala had faded into obscurity and no one had ever been able to tell Leia how she died, or even if had done so. Seemingly she had just disappeared into thin air one day. Her family had never been there to be able to disappear, in the first place.

Had anyone loved her? Had anyone cared?

It wasn't unheard of for a politician to have no one close to them. Even more common for royalty to be alone, and Amidala had been both at one time in her life. So maybe there were no recordings of Senator Amidala because there had been no one who was interested. Not even in the woman who had started the process that had landed Palpatine so firmly on this throne.

**A young woman sat alone in her tower. She had a staff, but she didn't really care for them. As most of them were rotated regularly, none had the time to become familiar or comforting – it was better this way. Years ago, in a freak storm her parents had been killed and she had no siblings. She had never married it. Had considered doing so, but knew it required more compromise than she could afford to give. Duty, not love, filled her time.**

Nobody loved Leia. She didn't think of it with self-pity, though, only with an aching emptiness that refused to be filled. No husband, no siblings and no parents. Only a blue-eyed farm kid, who was strangely powerful; and an unreliable smuggler with a touch of brilliance.

Nobody was ever going to love Leia. Not like a husband loved a wife. Leia didn't have time to let them. There was an Empire to fight and when she was done with that – and she would be done with that – there would be a government to build. Other worlds to save – _I couldn't save Alderaan_… 

Unsatisfying. That's how that vision turned out. Or not so much unsatisfying as unfinished. _Can you help me?_ She silently asked the invisible woman who sat beside her bed and had a husband and children, and was beautiful, but strangely sad nonetheless. _What else is there? Can…might…is…is it possible for me to have a family? _The woman who wasn't really there, that Leia had never met anyway, reached out and gripped her hand.

And somewhere, distant in time, a man gave a woman a smile that held secrets, and told her that he loved her.

*****

**A/N: **Yeah, tell me what you think. What you _really_ think. I'm not sure about this one.


	3. Knowing

_Eleven-year-old Leia._****

**Knowing**

The gardens were particularly pretty today, but neither of the two who walked in them noticed. There were others about who enjoyed the walks, but none had approached them just yet. Father and daughter were deep in conversation on heavy matters and no one felt it was their right to interrupt.

"But Daddy, I don't understand. If she hadn't called for the vote of no-confidence in Valorum, then Palpatine wouldn't be Emperor. How can she be good?" There was no accusation in the girl's tone. Not this time.

Her father sighed tiredly. "Palpatine's a powerful man, Leia, and ambitious. If that vote hadn't been called then I'm sure he would have found a way. You cannot blame Amidala for what she did. He used her youth and inexperience, her idealism, to reach the end he wanted. She had no way of knowing what Palpatine planned. Technically, if you ignore what happened during and after the Clone Wars, the decision was the right one. Besides, it saved her people."

She scowled. She was still young enough that good and evil seemed relatively black and white. "But didn't you say that the Trade Federation was working with Palpatine, anyway?"

"_Suspected_ to be working with Palpatine, Leia. There never was any proof. He certainly has always denounced them. And no one had any idea of it then."

"So she was just stupid."

"No," he said firmly, and the rebuke was harsh enough that she looked down in shame. Two days ago she had criticised Amidala, said she was evil for what she did, and her father become very angry. Why, she didn't know. She would have thought he'd hate anyone who helped Palpatine as much as she did.

When she had said that, he'd sent her to her room. Later, after she was done crying, he'd come and sat on the edge of her bed. He'd stroked her hair and told her he was sorry for getting angry, but she had to understand that things had been very different back then.

She must never ever hate anyone, either. 

_"Not even Palpatine?"_

_"Not even him. No one has more power over you than the one you hate."_

"Amidala was one of the most honourable and intelligent beings I've ever had the opportunity to meet," he said now.

"You _knew_ her?" The young princess was shocked. 

"I did."

"What happened to her?" No one had ever told Leia where Amidala had gone after the Emperor had taken over. She'd quit the Senate and disappeared. For some reason Leia really, _really_ wanted to know what happened to her. She _really_ wanted to know. _Really_.

"I think she found it hard to think that the state of the galaxy was her fault, and she went to hide somewhere, far away."

"Oh." It was sad to think of her like that. Maybe it was her fault, but Leia didn't like to think that she had to be alone because of it. Sometimes Leia felt alone – especially when her father wasn't on Alderaan and she couldn't talk to him – she didn't want anyone else to feel like that. 

Except Palpatine, and her father said she wasn't allowed to think that. Even if he deserved it.

Up ahead one of Leia's friends spotted her and called out. She looked up at her father for permission and he nodded slightly. She ran off, ducking under a nearby tree branch.  

***

Bail Organa dropped into a nearby seat and tried to banish two sets of intense, passionate eyes – one pair curious, the other pained – from his mind.

Leia had zeroed in on Amidala with a single-mindedness that was almost frightening. She'd condemned the former Senator out of hand, but then proceeded to gather as much information as she could. Surprisingly little existed though, and so Leia now fished for background on the Republic Senator from Bail, or anyone else who was willing to give it to her.

He worried about it. Leia had taken a shine to politics from a young age and was quick and willing to learn, but never before had she shown anything like this voracity. Part of him wanted to contact Kenobi, on Tatooine and ask him, despite the danger. Perhaps it was one of those Jedi things he was supposed to look out for.

Scouting out information on Padmé Amidala was one thing. There was nothing to link the young girl to her biological mother – the more the pity, if it hadn't been for the danger. He was terrified that if it were Jedi thing it would inevitably extent to the one place no one could afford it to. Her biological father. Anakin Skywalker.

She had no reason to look for the name of one Jedi amongst the thousands who had died during the Clone Wars. What if, however, she caught sight of his name randomly – he had been something of a hero – and began to wonder about him. Could she survive what would happen should such an interest come to the attention of someone who mattered?

The love he held for her surprised him constantly. She was the most wonderful thing in his life. He couldn't bear to think of losing her. Most days it was a struggle to think that this child – this beautiful, perfect being – had originated from one of the most terrible men that existed.

Yet, she had. And in some ways it gave him hope. If such evil was capable of creating such good, perhaps there was something more to Vader than met the eye.

Of course, it was not a theory he was in any hurry to test. Darth Vader had the power to destroy Leia with the slightest thought, should it please him. Bail Organa could not allow that to happen, not to Padmé's daughter. Not even to Anakin's daughter.

He was jarred from his thoughts as Leia raced up again looking at him with big imploring eyes. She wanted to go to a picnic by a nearby lake with some of her friends. There would be adult supervision and they'd be home before dark, and she promised she'd do everything she was told and be careful. Could she please, _please go? Please,_ Daddy. Winning smile, playing on a childlikeness to get him to give into her request.

She could never guess how infinitely relieved her father was that she was distracted from her quest for information on Senator Amidala. He gave her his permission willingly, and she danced off to change her clothes and find a bathing suit.

He had no doubt that by tomorrow her desire to find out more about the beautiful Queen turned Senator would resurface and he'd have to field yet more questions. For now though, she was a young girl who wanted to go swimming and giggle with her friends. Such events were rare enough – she didn't need any seriousness, not today. 

Tomorrow perhaps he'd find some obscure Alderaanian law that would interest her. Or mention some social injustice that would take up her time. Sadly, sometimes this was all he had to offer her. 

*****

**A/N: **Again, honest reviews are appreciated. I promise I'm big enough to handle anything you can throw at me. Especially if it's edible (and chocolate).


	4. Hating

Like I said, it's darker than the others. It's PG.

Leia on the Death Star. Set after _Understood_

**~~Hating~~**

She allowed you to exist. It is because of her that you can stand there, here in front of me. Cold, black monster. Evil, twisted heart. Souless, empty machine.

I would hate you. I would hate you with all the angry heat that burns up inside of me when I think of everything you have done, everything you have caused, everything that has been caused through you. You are a demon of the worst kind. You were once human, and injuries or not you _chose _to be otherwise. So, I would hate you if I could. 

But I am not allowed to hate you. I am forbidden to hate you. My father made sure of that. My _father,_ who you have killed. I want to hate you for his sake. I want to hate you because you have taken him – and everything else dear to me – and had it turned to space dust before my eyes. Hating, however, would destroy one of the lessons Bail Organa took great pains to hammer into me.

_ No one has more power over you than the one you hate._

So, I can't hate you. Not only because it is forbidden to me to hate, but because in hating you I would have given you something that you could not take from me freely. My freedom of thought. I won't let you take it. You can rip my mind from it's very foundation and crush it until I'm little more than a dribbling mess, but still you have not taken that one last right. You have merely moved it to another place and in that place not even you can touch me.

So I will not hate you. Nor will I hate _her_.

Her: Padmé Amidala. Queen of Naboo. Senator.

Do you know her? I like to think you do. It make sense somehow that you would. Maybe she is just a figure, a characterless being who served a purpose and is gone now. Perhaps you killed her. In a sick way that would be justice; for her and for the galaxy.

No longer would the woman who put Palpatine on the throne exist – at least in this reality. By doing so she gave him power to create you. _You_. Who I will not hate. Who has taken everything good and worthwhile from me. Who does not deserve any more than my pity and contempt. So, justice for her crimes.

Yet justice, or rather peace, for the crimes against her. My father told me she was a victim. She was there at the right time, a vessel to manipulate the galaxy through. Then when the despot had what he wanted he moved on and left her unaware. It was only later she realised what she had been tricked into doing. 

I can only imagination would she must have felt like. I think it must have been a weight on her shoulders so heavy it threatened to push her into the ground. A choking sensation tightening around her chest until she thought she would never be able to breathe again. It would have seemed as though her heart had been ripped out of her chest and sliced into a million little pieces. The thought of looking in a mirror would have devastated her, because how could she stand to see the person who looked back at her? 

Actually I don't imagine that's what she experienced. I don't imagine at all. I know. Watching Alderaan explode before my very eyes, I knew. I didn't think it was possible to feel this much pain and still be alive. Surely death must be near?

What did she look like when you killed her? Relieved, I bet. I bet she was so damn thrilled that the end had arrived she threw herself at you and begged for death.

Did you grant her that wish? Or did you make her suffer more? Did you let her live? Is she on some remote planet forced to watch the galaxy go by, forced to watch every evil that is perpetrated in the name of an Emperor who she unknowing gave the chance to seize the throne?

I think I'm making this up. I think maybe I'm adding in something here that was never there in the first place. As a child I was accused of telling tales, changing the story for something else. I learned a long time ago I must not do this. Politicians have to bend and twist the truth to work in their way. To manipulate the facts until sometimes we're not even sure of the truth. But we're not supposed to make things up. It is true that others have done this, have told outright lies in order to get what they want. However, I was taught better.

So maybe I've made this up. This connection between you and her. It probably never existed, it only does in my mind because it's easy to believe that an abstract hate of a collection of objects or thoughts or actions is less damaging than the hatred of a single entity, a person. You. Or even her.

You didn't know her and she didn't know you. She was just a child-Queen, and a young Senator (like me) who was manoeuvred into doing something she couldn't possibly conceive the consequences of. You were just a man who followed Palpatine and became a monster who serves him – that's what my father told me you were and are.

It's so much simpler to look at it the other way, though. I could even take it further, and say you three sat around and planned it like this. Hating you would be so much easier then. I'm not allowed to hate you. I don't hate you.

But if I hated you, maybe I wouldn't hate myself so much.


	5. Seen

I promised the viggies listed in chronological order to another group, but I'll post them here too. The numbers beside them are the order in which they appear. There are seven altogether, so far. So the two you don't recognise haven't been posted. 

-Knowing (3)

-Understood (1)/Hating (4)

**-Safely Home (6)**

-Wishes (2)

-Seen (5)

**-No Senators Here (7)**

**Seen**__

_The watcher found herself in a room that was both familiar and unfamiliar. She had been here before, she was sure of it, but she couldn't place when or where._

_The room was a nursery of sorts. A crib stood to one side and a bed of adult human proportions close to it. The room's two occupants stood by the crib and looked in. Neither noticed the watcher and it became apparent to her that they could not perceive her presence. On the battered dresser stood a small, open, trinket box. Finely carved it fitted with no other furniture in that room. All that the watcher could see of its contents was a cream-coloured cloth, beautifully embroidered. It struck a cord deep within her and she craned her head to see more of it, but was blocked from movement. She would have growled from frustration, but was not allowed that either. _

_"They're so tiny," the woman said. "Too tiny for what you have planned." She threw a hard look at the man who stood beside her._

_"If there were any other way, I'd take it – you know that," her companion sighed._

_"I don't like this." Her tone was cold, hard and defiant. Yet there were undertones of hysteria in there too. The watcher did not understand what was happening, but she knew it was not good._

_"I do not wish to lose them," it cost the woman dearly not rave and rant, the watcher could see that. She knew also, somehow inexplicably, that this was a topic they had discussed – often ending in intense confrontations – many times._

_"If it helps to think of it like this, then believe you will not lose them so much as lend them…"_

_"A mother does not lend her children!"_

_"Even if they are possibly the only hope for a galaxy? Padmé, please…I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is for the best."_

_Neither had yet risen their voices, wary, the watcher knew, of what – or who – was in the crib. Now the woman, Padmé, turned away from the other. Briefly her eyes flickered over the watcher and she frowned in confusion, but she had greater concerns than unusual shadows._

_"It is never best when you take children from their mothers." There was an ominous warning there and the watcher felt herself shiver. The man looked as if he'd been punched._

_A whimper rose from the crib. Padmé seemed to forget all else and rushed forward, scooping the fretful child up and pulling it against her chest. Oddly, the watcher could see another baby-sized lump in the crib. Unfortunately, where she stood was a bad angle for her to see, and she could not move forward._

_"Shush, my little one, you don't want to wake your brother, shhh." She rocked her chid and the man watched them, looking for all the world as if his heart might break. "I love you, little one, I love you more than there are stars in the sky, more than all the grains of sand on Tatooine. Remember that, and make sure brother knows I love him as well. I could not bear it if neither of you ever knew. I love you so much…"_

***

Leia woke, but slowly. The dream had been so strange. She could not think why she would ever dream anything like that.__

Only she wished she could remember her mother telling her she loved her. She would have given anything to hear those words from that long dead woman who had otherwise given her so much.

It had been so bizarre, as if she'd been allowed to watch something that really happened, and in some ways it felt like something Leia had already seen. As if it were something out of a holodrama she'd once seen, but had faded from her memory.

The woman, Padmé, had reminded Leia a little of her own mother. She was beautiful and sad, and Leia would like to fancy she saw a physical resemblance between herself and that woman. After all, this woman clearly loved her children, despite the fact that the man who stood beside her thought she needed to be separated from them for the sake of the galaxy.

Of course, it couldn't be Leia's mother because the woman had clearly referred to the baby as having a brother, and there was definitely another lump in the crib. The twin to the child held in their mother's arms? Possibly. _No, probably._

Wasn't Padmé the name of the Senator? Of course it was. Leia knew that almost as well as she knew her own name. She had certainly studied the woman many times, and had known everything the limited history she had access to could tell her.

Was this the Senator and her family? Her children and perhaps her husband? _No. _Something seemed wrong in that. That man was not married to her; they were not his children.

But Leia was making up stories again. Stories for Senator Amidala. Like she had done as a child, and then again as an adult, as a comfort to try and believe the galaxy was not as cold as Palpatine presented it.__

A niggling detail about a box hovered in her mind, but as with many dreams the clarity had begun to fade. She clung to it momentarily trying to pull it back together. Perhaps it was important… _Sitting in a room a toddler reached out chubby baby-fingers, but the object was removed from her grasp. A lid closed and a key snicked in the lock. "Not yet, dearest one."_ Leia shook off that particular scene. Was it part of her dream? For some reason it seemed wrong…

The princess of Alderaan, sighed and rolled over. All this analysis for a dream that undoubtedly meant nothing. Just some sub-conscious desire for the security of a mother, and a longing to know that fairytales really did happen, and knights married princesses who had been trapped in the tower. Everybody lives happily ever after, except the evil magician.

One of these days she would have to figure out why she had such an obsession over one – fairly minor – Senator. Then she could be rid of that ghost forever. She could do with one less ghost in her life.

Somehow, though, she doubted it would be that easy. The spirits of the dead had followed her for so long that to be without them seemed unimaginable. Leia was doomed to be their voice for the rest of her life. And if for nothing other than a moment or two of peace she would see justice brought for them.

Decisions turning in her mind, she finally dropped off into a dreamless sleep. For the rest of the night no ghosts bothered her.

*****

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. I love you all. :-) I hope you all (and everyone else!) continues to read, enjoy and review. Thank you :-)


	6. Safely Home

*Sorry guys, I thought I'd posted this. There is one more after this, and I'll post it next week.

*Also, check out _Jedi_, which is Luke's version of this. I'll post it tomorrow.

*For all those who read _A Moment in Time_ the next two chapters are written, but I need chapter eighteen back from one of my betas. As soon as she sends it, I'll post, I promise.

**Safely Home**

In hyperspace they could relax. At least in theory. But she was on a strange ship surrounded by the strangest bunch of beings she'd ever had the misfortune to meet. And that was saying something – she had been a member of the Galactic Senate, after all.

Hyperspace was only a temporary reprieve. She would have to face everything soon. Had Senator Amidala felt the same way? Leia could understand it; she would like to stay in hyperspace forever suspended from the reality of the galaxy. She could avoid the Rebellion, avoid surviving Alderaani – how could she look any of them in the face again? How?

Leia's father had once said that Amidala had found it hard to look at the state of the galaxy and remember her part in it. Leia could imagine there must have been days when looking others in the eye would have been hard, forget comfortably using a mirror – the images provided unbearable. Those days taking a never-ending trip in hyperspace must have seemed like paradise. 

A part of her wished she was still on board the Death Star, awaiting her execution. Death would be a balm. She wouldn't have to think about Alderaan anymore. She could be with her father. The afterlife was a great, stretching, empty landscape; void of pain.

_I want to go home_. It was a childish statement, wrapped up in layers of Organa stubbornness, and lacking in Alderaani dignity.

It also meant she didn't want death at all. She just wanted to be home. And be seven years old. She wanted to be curled up on her daddy's knee, listening to a story about a handsome knight and his beautiful love, separated by war and duty.

Tears burned her eyelids, but she blinked them away. They were no use to her.

The plans for the Death Star were safe, and once she got them to Yavin the space station that destroyed Alderaan could be destroyed in turn. It would be turned to space dust, shattering into billions of pieces – one piece for each taxpayer credit. One piece for each life lost on Alderaan. 

She had that to live for. Yes, revenge was wrong, but if it served the purpose of stopping another monstrosity like Alderaan, how could it not be the right thing? 

"Your Highness, are you all right?" asked a soft voice from behind her and she spun.

For a moment the young face that was becoming so familiar was overlaid by a memory. Leia thought she had the answer; she thought she knew who he was. But it was gone less than a heart beat later and all she saw was the farmboy who had saved her life. 

"I'm fine, Luke, thank you. It's just been a long day."

He nodded sadly, and something old settled into his eyes. Today they had both lost much.

Neither spoke for a long while. They just stood in the cool corridor of the _Millennium Falcon_, lost in thought, not really paying attention to the other. Leia felt no inclination to move off. Something about Luke's presence soothed her.

Still reeling from his own grief, Luke still provided something of a safe haven for her. She had felt instant camaraderie with him, a closeness she couldn't explain. He reminded her distantly of home, although his couldn't have been further from the one she had known. 

He had lived on a farm. A moisture farm to be sure, but a farm nonetheless. Leia's mother, long dead and dimly recalled, might have lived on a farm once. Perhaps that's what trigged the resemblance between them. Memory left feelings of security with the older woman, maybe that's the tie she held to Luke.

As a child, Amidala had lived on a farm, Leia remembered. The faint connection between them once again became clearer. What was it about that Senator? Why did it have to be one that caused so much trouble? _Because you, yourself have caused so much trouble, Leia Organa. You are trouble, _her traitorous mind answered. _Alderaan was your fault._

Jedi, Leia's father had once told her, could pick up on things like emotions and thoughts, particularly if they were intense. From his expression, Luke had picked up on something from her. Awkwardly he laid a hand on her arm, clearly unused to offering comfort. Yet the gesture was comforting. The Jedi thing again? Jedi were supposed to be able to provide strength and security. Apparently that extended to barely trained apprentices, too.  

Around him she got the sense that things might just work out. Like there might be some light somewhere at the end of this Sith-cursed tunnel. Perhaps, one day, there might even be a life of some sort where she could look people in the eye.

*****

There you have it. Honest opinions are always appreciated.

**Please review.**


	7. No Senators Here

**No Senators Here** 

Padmé Amidala. Queen of Naboo. Senator.

What had her life been like? How had it ended? Alone with no one to care about her? Or was there some with tears in their eyes, holding her hand, telling her she was loved?

Had she ever been married? Did she have children? 

Leia remembered she had once thought that Senator Amidala might have been married – or at least she thought she should have been married – and she had two children. She could have lived out a happy life where she didn't have to worry about what Palpatine had done.

Only one of her many stories that she'd created for the Senator of a planet that hardly mattered, but had produced the most evil man in the galaxy. So insignificant really. Even Amidala's act – while she was still queen – of calling for a vote of no-confidence in Chancellor Valorum had been insignificant. If it had not worked, Palpatine would have found another way.

Senator Amidala's actions had mattered to her though, Leia knew through painful experience. She would not have forgotten what happened. Could not have forgotten. It would have stayed with her through all the days of her life, and possibly followed her into death.

The former princess of Alderaan hoped the other woman had found redemption in a measure for herself. Leia hoped she at some point had been able to look at herself and not hate who she saw. She hoped that she had been able to look at others and not what to die at the pain she felt she caused.

Leia even hoped that Amidala had been loved. That there was someone who held her at night and whispered, "I love you." Perhaps even a child who would run to greet her with a smile when she came home from a hard day.

However, Leia suspected that if that had been the case, Palpatine might have tried to take it from her. Even if you helped him, even if you were loyal, he was likely to turn on you once you'd outlived your usefulness. He would hunt you down through the galaxy and have you killed for simply being alive.

Looking down at her sleeping son, Leia knew how close she'd come to losing him. The Emperor had wanted to steal Anakin's life and make it his own. The sheer cruelty of such an action hadn't occurred to him.

Or maybe it had. He knew what it would do to Leia to steal her child; he would have taken her joy and destroyed it. And it would have given him pleasure to hurt Anakin Skywalker's child and grandchild like that.

She shivered as she thought of the small face of her son twisted with evil and anger, with the darkside. Right now he looked so innocent, and the image of Palpatine in her mind made her sick to her stomach. Force-willing her children would be safe from such horrors as that monster.

A long time ago children had been a distant dream to Leia; she had thought that such a family life was beyond her reach. She had a life to lead and bringing children, or a husband, into it would be fair to no one. She didn't want to cause others that pain. Even after her marriage she had denied herself children, not wanting to pass on the 'Skywalker curse' to an innocent child.

Now she had nearly everything she ever wanted, but never dreamed she would ever have. A loving husband; three beautiful, healthy children; a brother (imagine that Leia Organa had a _brother!)_; Palpatine was dead and gone for good. Did she deserve this? Was someone going to try and steal all this from her?

Probably. But she wouldn't let them. This was hers, now, and she wasn't going to let go.

She really did hope that Amidala had been this happy at least once in her life. Bail Organa had once painted a picture of the child Queen caught up in events beyond her control. Finally, looking down at her precious son, Leia let herself believe him fully. With Palpatine gone, with his last terrors still echoing in her ears, Leia could give Amidala the understanding she had never quite achieved before.

****

**Notes: **I really can't see myself writing anymore of these, but if something happens I might. I really don't like this last one, not a bit. It has taken me _weeks_ to write it. I started it before _Safely Home_, and had to discard my first attempt.

On the other hand, I still have plans to continue _Jedi_. The second vignette goes up tonight. Go over than check it out. It's called _Them All_.

Anyway, your opinions really matter to me. _Please review._


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